November 14, 2005
Everything you ever wanted to know about sports on TV.At The Buzzer
MLS Cup 2005: Frustratingly Enjoyable
The LA Galaxy and New England Revolution tried their best to bore Alan and his friends, but to no avail.
A summary of the MLS Cup 2005 viewing experience as witnessed by Adam (Sorry ladies, he's engaged), Trumbot (That's right ladies! Boy can bust a beat like the shit was out of flavor), and yours truly.
Pre-game. ABC kindly takes fifteen minutes to clue the rest of the country (a.k.a people who haven't been following MLS this season) into who the squads are and which players to pay attention to. Spotlighted are the United States' best player, LA's Landon Donovan, and this year's MLS Most Valuable Player, New England's Taylor Twellman. That's actually a pretty attractive matchup for soccer fans and, as has been noted about a million times during this pre-game, today's game is a rematch of the 2002 contest won by LA, 1-0 in overtime. I remember watching that game, an exciting one at that, though I hope the '05 edition provides a little more goal scoring. As a soccer fanatic in the States, I always get a little nervous when the sport is given the national spotlight as I hope that it provides enough entertainment to sway some marginal fans into supporting the it. Soccer haters in the US, on the other hand, are a lost cause and shouldn't be given a second thought. To the casual observer, soccer is no less "dull" than baseball or the dreaded bore that is golf. So I urge everyone to write these stubborn fools off.
|Yeah, they were giggling at him and how unapologetically boisterous he sounded, reacting to each goal of the 1-1 draw. Then again, Americans can hardly be faulted for being bigger than life. It's our way.|
First Half, 1st – 30th minute: Man, this is a championship game? I'd like to think that nerves ruled the first half given the uninspired play of both sides. Everyone is in agreement that the Galaxy appears to be outplaying New England, but they appear to be doing so without any sort of apparent plan of attack. This, of course, leads the three of us into a discussion of how much Steve Sampson blows as a coach.
Minute 35: Our 24" half green peppers, half pineapple pizza just arrived. Sucker is huge. A little Killian's Irish Red will help to wash that down (thanks Adam!).
Halftime: Woof. That first half was a dog. Now for a fun, happy, peppy halftime performance live from the sight of the game, Pizza Hut Park (ugh, I know…) in Dallas by… Click 5? Who the hell are they? I don't even care. The boys and I are in agreement that the Minnesota Vikings/New York Giants game is a far better viewing option.
Second Half, 46th-80th minute: Would someone please tell these teams that a championship is at stake here?! There is no urgency on either side. It hurts to watch. To ease our pain we all have a glass of… Sparkling Apple Cider? Uh, okay. Cool. Thanks, Trumbot. Just dudes being dudes, I guess.
Ninety-plus minutes have run up and we're still deadlocked at zero. The clutching, jerky pace of the game is reflected on the referee's naughty list. A staggering ten yellow cards have been issued. What the hell am I watching here? Roller Derby?
Overtime, 107th minute: Pando! Guatemalan midfielder Pando Ramirez breaks the scoreless tie with a cracking rebound shot off of a corner. High fives and yelling all around. There is much merriment in my living room at this moment.
Overtime, final minutes leading up to the 120th: The game has slowed to a standstill as Los Angeles waits for the final whistle to blow. New England had one – and only one – real scoring chance, but could never muster a formidable attack. The game ends and the Galaxy rush the field. Strangely enough, my comrades and I aren't all that elated. Sure, our team won, but there is a definite feeling of, "God, it's finally over. Took long enough!" Nevertheless, we're content with the Galaxy's triumph and now focus our attention to next summer World Cup in Germany, where Team USA looks to prove the quarterfinal finish from 2002 was anything but a fluke.
Email the author.
All written content © 2005 by the authors. For more information, contact email@example.com